Archive for April, 2010
There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section.
A flight attendant realizes the blonde’s mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won’t move.
She says, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York.”
The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won’t move.
She says again, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York.”
The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde’s ear.
Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.
They ask him and he says, “Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn’t going to New York!”
Warning: this slideshow contains images which you may find disturbing
The Vietnam War ended 35 years ago, on April 30, 1975, with the fall of Saigon, now known as Ho Chi Minh City, to communist troops from the north. In this gallery, we look back at the conflict
April 30, 1975: a North Vietnamese tank rolls through the gate of the Presidential Palace in Saigon, signifying the fall of South Vietnam…More http://goo.gl/aBBb
Bridget McGovern and I were discussing our shared dislike of the character Zoe on Lost. She said, “I’m going to start writing fanfic about all the ways Zoe could be made to disappear…like a Gashlycrumb Tinies with only one character.” I am a big fan of Lost and of Edward Gorey, two great tastes that have not, until now, gone together. With Bridget’s enthusiastic approval, I stole the idea and made the poem below, celebrating the many and varied deaths of Lost.
The Gashlycrumb Losties
A is for Arzt who was blown up sky high
B is for Boone who bled out through his thigh
C is for Charlie, courageously drowned
D is for Danielle, left dead on the ground
E is for Eko, killed not by his brother
F is for Faraday, shot by his mother
G is for Goodwin whose chest was impaled
H is for Horace who poison inhaled
I is for Inman, head bashed all to hell
J is for Juliet, squished down a well
K is for Karl, shot through a canteen
L is for Locke whose demise was foreseen
M is Minkowski whose nose bled and bled
N is for Nikki, interred, presumed dead
O for Omar who caught a grenade
P is for Pickett who Juliette slayed
Q is for Questions left dead in the plot
R is for Rom, shot shot shot shot shot shot
S is for Shannon. I’m glad she’s no more
T is for Tom who took lead on the shore
U is for something beginning with U
V is for Vincent, who’s not dead, it’s true
W is Wayne who Kate blew up at home
X is for…Xtra-hard alphabet poem
Y is for Yemi who crashed in a jet
Z is for Zoe who hasn’t died…yet
When Jason Henninger isn’t reading, writing, juggling, cooking or raising evil genii, he works for Living Buddhism magazine in Santa Monica, CA. He is angry that there are no dead Lost characters whose names begin with U and X.
These tiny frogs could make you croak – their skin is 200 times more toxic than morphine. Bluereef aquarium, Southsea, Hants, is celebrating breeding dozens of the endangered creatures after years of trying. Phantasmal poison frogs can kill anybody who merely touches them…More http://goo.gl/rN8A